Friday, 8 August 2014

Body Bag

I just have to share tonight's OMG moment as I was visiting my Mum tonight at the care home. I'd forgotten they were having a special open evening as they were updating relatives, friends and residents on some new plans and there was a buffet, drinks and entertainment.

I joined my Mum where she was sitting in the foyer and didn't go into the main lounge where the musical entertainment was but the staff kept passing with offers of refreshments. The staff are really brilliant and it is a lovely warm atmosphere so the evening was very convivial and the music helped the ambience.

However, later on, I was dumbstruck to see two ladies of a certain age smartly dressed in Country Casuals skirt suits walking out pushing a wheeled barrow containing a bulky black body bag which was the same height as the lady at the back pushing it. I honestly couldn't work out what the hell was going on with the westend's answer to Burke and Hare! The staff were helping them out and giving them fond 'goodbye's, 'look forward to seeing you again' and 'thanks so much, its been great' as they wheeled what looked like a deceased relative out the door. I was totally bewildered but caught the care home manager's eye and saw her snort with laughter.

When the staff came back in the rest of the story unravelled. The well-dressed G12 bodysnatchers were apparently lady entertainers who provide music for hospitals and care homes and the 'body bag' contained their keyboard, cables and accessories which is why it was so bulky and tall when carried on its end. They were not actually removing a deceased loved one.

Their arrival had apparently been equally eventful as they'd arrived at the front entrance which has a number of stairs instead of the ramp access at the back. A young chap who was jogging past saw the pair of grandma's with their considerable cargo, stopped, stared, popped his earphones out, stared some more and obviously wondered why they had a full body bag and were taking it IN to a care home! However, this being the Westend he was mannerly and polite and asked if he could assist them, which he did. One of the staff came out as the polite but clearly still dubious jogger was bumping the trolley up the stairs, followed by the grandma's and watched as the body bag began to sag in the middle and list to the side which made it look even more suspicious.

Everyone knew what it looked like so were falling over themselves to explain how it was all very innocent but their effusive protestations made them look even guiltier. To the jogger's credit he took the stuff right into the lounge and set it down as one of the grandma's desperately tried to unzip it to reveal the contents so that the chap didn't think he's been aiding and abetting a crime. The staff member said she was scarlet in the face between being mortified and trying not to laugh.

All this lead us onto a conversation about the wonderfully silly 80's film Weekend at Bernie's which always creases me up. The story is very simple but the expressions on the eponymous, and very dead, Bernie's face are priceless. It is not high art but it is very amusing.

I don't recall much of the music they played tonight but I certainly wont forget their finale.....!


  1. You know I really needed a laugh today you you provided me with one brilliantly. I love this story, very funny.

  2. What a great story! You so often (it seems) have experiences to raise a smile!

  3. Oh no!!! I could not imagine where this was going to go, as it obviously wasn't going to be a body, but I never would have guessed that it would be this! The poor jogger must have been in a right state by the time he left! xx


Comments are welcome and I read every single one